Thursday, January 20, 2011

Query Hell

One piece of paper. 250 words. This should be easy for me. I can easily knock out 4000 or more words in one night for my novels. But this thing defeats me. The blank paper mocks me. I want to drink. Worse,I want to cry.

Because no matter how many times I write it,they suck. I simply SUCK at query writing. I look at my fellow writers and I turn into a hater. I am so jealous of the wonderful queries that they create. I want to write a query that makes an agent faint from joy. I suspect that they cackle with glee and pass my wretched query around the office for laughs. I once sent a query out to an agent with this lovely greeting:

Dear Agent,Whose Soul Shall Be Mine.

Now some poor agent probably thinks I am a Satanist. Sigh. I know the damned thing is needed as an introduction for my book. I know agents want them and it is a skill that I must master. But they drive me crazy. Queries reduce me to tears!  I have dramatic hissy fits and my brother rolls his eyes at me. I write one,read it,and then delete. I do this about a hundred times. Then I cry some more and eat a dark chocolate bar. Tis a sad sight!

But fraidy cat writer never won fair agent/book deal. So I go back to my drawing board and start over. There will be more tears and outright howling. But I will get it done. I may be a quivering and half-mad wreck,but as the Goddess Of Writing is my witness,I will write a terrific query!

No comments:

Post a Comment